How to connect with anyone

Published by feelingcolourful on

Humans are capable of maintaining deep and long lasting relationships. The first step in achieving that is by connecting with other people. How can one do that? What are steps to easily connect with anyone?

Summarize what the other person has said

In a conversation, listening to someone and thinking of a response at the same time can be hard. While it is obviously important to talk to someone in order to connect with them, you can use a simple trick: After the person has finished talking, quickly summarize what the other person has said:

”There was this one scene in the movie, where she stands up and just walks away. That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.”
”Oh, so you really liked the movie!”

Point out common points

Bulding up a connection can be easily achieved by pointing out the commonalities between you and the other person. If you feel comfortable or got to know the other person a little bit better, you can even try to finish the sentence of the other person.

”I get what you mean. I felt the same way when I…”

Compliment, appreciate and laugh

Everybody wants to feel rewarded. Giving honest (!) compliments is one way to support that. Be interested in what the other person is doing or feeling and laugh with them about their jokes
. You can start by asking the other person questions about things you are really interested in about them.

Make jokes

Being funny and cracking jokes is another valuable trait when it comes to charisma. But be careful to never attack the identity of someone or make fun of something that is unchangeable and important to them.

If the person you are talking to views himself as being too fat, joking about his body weight won’t make you appear more charismatic. Instead, relate to topics the person already feels confident about. If he is a successful business man, joking about his job won’t do you any harm.

Don’t “answer questions” – tell stories

We were raised to give precise and straight answers. However, those kind of answers won’t make you appear more charismatic. Charismatic people are really good at storytelling. They tend to digress and switch topics. So the next time, someone is asking you a question, take a few seconds to consider: Maybe there is a funny story related to your answer?

Be authentic: Show your emotions

We all like to talk to authentic people. It is easy to hide our own feelings but when it comes to charismatic people, they know and show what they are felling just right away.

As mentioned earlier, it is helpful to point out commonalities. So, when someone is talking about how he or she felt, tie up to that and use it as an opportunity to talk about your feelings too. Telling people about how you feel will make you appear a lot more relatable and human.


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