Test your language of love (and those of others)
Why it is important to know your love language
In relationships, in friendships or with colleagues, knowing the love language of yourself and others helps you to get access to a deeper level of interaction.
There are five different love languages. Everybody uses all five of them but only one is one’s primary love language.
Knowing your own love language, others get the possibility to better understand you and adapt to your needs.
Equally, by knowing the love language of others, you can express your affection in a way that they interpret as love.
The five languages of love
Babies feel loved by beeing cuddled. In the same way, some people need physical touch to feel cherished. This includes holding hands, receiving hugs and kisses or just a simple pad on the back.
Words of affirmation
Those people live the phrase “words speak louder than actions”. Compliments, words of encouragement and appreciation are very important to them. They need to hear from you the magical three words “I love you” and the reason behind it.
Contrary to that, insults and words of criticism hurt them a lot. If you are with someone who speaks this love language, have a closer look at what you tell them. They are really paying attention to that!
Others love to spend quality time with their loved ones in order to feel loved. Giving those people your undivided attention is important. You could go to a restaurant together – but without looking at your phone. Be fully present and engaged with the other person. If you are dating, have date nights on a regular basis or go on a trip together once in a while.
Acts of service
This means doing something for the person that you know they would like for you to do, like washing the dishes or doing the groceries. They really appreciate it if you help them out. Following the principle of “actions speak louder than words“.
This is the fifth and last love language. Those people are not materialistic. For them, gifts are an expression for their love. By receiving gifts they know that you were thinking about them. Bringing something back for them after returning from a trip means the world to them, while a missed birthday is a complete desaster.
Test your language of love
There is a simple test online to find out what your primary love language is. You can do it for free at 5lovelanguages.com.
Let others complete the test for themselves too and share your results. This way, you can better understand each other and improve your relationship.
In case you don’t know the results of someone important to you, you can get an idea of their love language by simply observing what they do.
Most people think that their primary love language is the preferred love language of others too. Therefor, they tend to act in their preferred love language when the interact with you. Maybe the person likes to surprise you with unexpected gifts? Due to that, their primary love language is likely to be ”receiving gifts”.